


it's our time now if you want it to be

by drinkingstars



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Los Angeles Kings, M/M, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drinkingstars/pseuds/drinkingstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hasn’t been a regular thing between them, but it’s been something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's our time now if you want it to be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jeremy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeremy/gifts).



“It was good to see you there today. Even for just a little bit.” Justin adjusts the legs of his terrible khaki shorts, gets comfortable on Alec’s sofa. Alec is so sick of this sofa he might have to buy a brand new one when he’s finally better, but seeing Justin sitting on it in his terrible shorts is improving his opinion of it ever so slightly.

“Yeah?” Alec lifts an eyebrow at Justin, gives a weak smile from one side of his mouth. “Skating was a mistake.” 

“I know. I know it’s frustrating.”

“Takes time, takes time. Heard it a thousand times now. It just sucks _every_ time,” Alec says with a big sigh, takes a deep breath after. He puts his hands behind his head, leans back against his arms.

“I know.”

“And I keep getting hurt.” Alec feels a little indulgent, pouts, squints up at his ceiling, then rolls his head around on his neck, settles on looking at Justin.

Justin rubs his palms together, a glint of low lamp light off his wedding band catching Alec’s eye. “We all get hurt. This game is...look, you know my feelings. What are we all even doing here but trying to extend the inevitable, trying to force ourselves past some limit. And we don’t even know what the limit is. And when it’s your head? Shit.”

“Harder to work around than the body.” Alec says, agreeing. Even if he hadn’t gotten dizzy and almost thrown up after skating about fifty feet that morning, he’s already been given and failed their fanciest new concussion test. He knows this, intellectually. He knows how many times Justin has snapped and broken and had to be put back together.

Justin nods, thinking. “I mean...this brain shit. It’s weird. And every time it happens, it’s a permanent change. You don’t so much get better as you get different. But you’re ok again. Whatever ‘ok’ means to you.”

“You know what it means,” Alec sighs, shrugs. It means _hockey_ ok. Which to any sane person would be _still completely fucked up_. 

Sometimes he feels too smart for all this, like he should know better than to keep doing this to himself. And sometimes he looks at himself in the mirror and sees the _dumbest_ dumb jock--finely honed, nicely decorated, but ultimately a blunt instrument that wouldn’t be good for doing anything else.

Justin nods, a quiet, understanding smile on his lips. “I do. You know it means the same for me. I just want you here.”

Alec wrings his hands, tries to untwist what he actually wants to say to Justin. “Thank you for not texting me a bunch of times and saying you missed me--”

“You know I wouldn’t do that. I didn’t even want you looking at your phone.”

“Thank you for actually coming over.” Alec finishes, meets Justin’s gaze back at him. His eyes crinkle softly at the corners, little etched lines when he smiles. 

“Come here.”

Alec laughs and ducks his head down, feels Justin’s arm slide around his shoulders, a gentle pull.

“No. Come here.” Justin repeats, soft but insistent, tugs Alec down, placing his head just so in his lap. “Would you rather have a pillow?” Justin asks, sides of his fingers lightly stroking over Alec’s face, brushing into the thick hair at his hairline.

“No,” Alec whispers, tension relaxing from his jaw and neck, his face settling into the warm muscle of Justin’s thigh. “No, I like this.”

“Good. Stay right here awhile.” Justin keeps touching him, slow and easy, the rhythm of it becoming hypnotic. It would be weird if it were anybody else doing this to him, but it’s Justin. Alec tries to let go of any anxiety, let Justin take care of him like he always has.

It hasn’t been a regular thing between them, but it’s been something. Alec had to check his hero worship pretty fast once he got the call, but Justin’s mutual hockey crush on him was out of his hands. Scoring his first goal off of Justin’s rebound just seemed to seal the _something_ between them. 

They tried to get it out of their systems, got each other off after too many beers at a pool party at Brownie’s, in a guest room at Quickie’s after too much food and football. Always fast and messy but did the trick for a while. 

Raising two Cups didn’t come without a fair share of incendiary hookups, drunken and ill-advised, but cathartic and absolutely necessary. Alec remembers every sip of champagne and every sloppy, wet-bearded kiss with startling clarity, remembers Justin’s bare skin sticky with wine against his back, arms around his waist, his own arms around the Cup. Justin pressing him against a wall and making out with him was just getting good when they were abruptly interrupted by a boisterous Kopi, Alec startled out of his arousal and Justin accidentally biting his lip so hard in surprise, it stung. 

\---

He’s pretty sure they went home together--Kopi, Justin, and their wives. Alec woke up with beard burn all over his neck and a pretty, dark-haired girl in bed with him and his girlfriend.

\---

Alec shifts a little, brings one arm to tuck closer to his body, his hand falling comfortably atop Justin’s knee. He draws absentminded patterns on Justin’s skin, his fingertips finding and tracing the lines of smooth scars under the soft hairs there. 

Justin sighs, a soft hmmm, moves his hand down Alec’s head to cup around his neck. He holds it there, rubs the base of his skull with his thumb. Alec closes his eyes, settles, feels Justin’s hand slide under the neck of his t-shirt, rough warm skin beneath soft worn cotton. 

“This good?” Justin eventually asks, rubbing circles on Alec’s back.

“Yeah...yeah it’s good.”

“You want more?”

Alec doesn’t hesitate.

“Yeah. Sure.”

Justin stills his hand. “Let’s go upstairs.”

\---

Alec flicks on the lights at the landing of his stairs, and Justin follows, switching it off behind him. Alec pauses in the dark coolness of his bedroom, lets his eyes adjust, almost no outside light leaking in through his heavy blinds and drapes - by design.

“No?” Alec asks, a quirk in his voice. He feels Justin’s hands on his hips, backs carefully toward where he knows his bed is.

“Your head...this is better.” Justin explains, a note of overdramatic concern in his voice as he lifts Alec’s shirt over his head, presses him into the mattress.

Alec snorts, his abs shaking a little with laughter, with the tickle of Justin’s beard scruffing along his skin.

“I can have a lamp on.”

“Don’t need it,” Justin insists, working Alec’s shorts down over his hips, as if to provide evidence of this.

“But I can’t see you.” Alec says, eyes focusing furtively on some fixed point in the dark. He knows his own room, knows Justin’s body almost as well with his hands as he does with his eyes. It just makes him restless, not looking.

“You know what I look like,” Justin says, a coy edge in his voice as he bites softly into Alec’s thigh.

“But you can’t see me.” Alec whispers, reaches in the dark to gently finger Justin’s curls.

“And that is a damn shame, truly.” Justin’s southern drawl becomes more pronounced when he is buzzed, turned on, or both, Alec has noticed. “As much as I’d like to watch you...I could cover your eyes?”

“Whoa, seriously?” Alec kind of twitches against his bed, clenches his fingers into the comforter. It’s not that it’s not appealing, or that it sounds weird to him. It’s just a lot more... _intentional_...than anything they’ve done before, maybe.

“Nah. Why don’t we just go with this plan. You lay still. Keep your eyes shut anyway.” Justin kisses along his hip, takes Alec’s hands in his to lay them delicately at his sides. 

Alec takes a long, steadying breath, lets it all out as he feels Justin’s lips close softly around him. 

He closes his eyes.

Justin lays his head to one side, his beard coarse but comfortable on Alec’s inner thigh. He lets Alec’s tip slide out to his lips so he can lick all the way around it, uses his hand to stroke him. Justin is gentle with him, just bordering on too gentle, but Alec understands why. He does appreciate it, and he knows Justin will get him there. He just has to settle and let him. 

Justin spreads his thighs a little more, makes space for himself to move, hitches gently at Alec’s hip to get him deeper into his mouth. Alec feels for him, touches his cheeks just to hear and feel the little noises Justin makes around him. 

He tries to keep his eyes closed, but finds he is both too restless and too curious. Opening his eyes lets him see how dark the still room is, lets him concentrate on Justin all over him, on the sensations, the feel of his mouth in the dark. When he pulls off again, Justin kisses along the crease of Alec’s thigh, his nose burying into him and Alec can feel the damp heat of his breath under his cock, his mouth and beard brushing right up under his balls, _jesus_.

Alec squirms a little and Justin murmurs something, a low sound that Alec feels in his gut as keenly as he feels Justin swirling, light, so light, over the sensitive tip of his dick, picking up the wetness. He feels Justin’s tongue there, licking it up from his own thumb, from the head of Alec’s cock, a greedy groan in the back of his throat before his mouth sinks down over him again. 

It’s warm and dark and safe and Alec gets lost in it, the pull of Justin’s mouth just enough, all he needs. He reaches for one of Justin’s hands, threads his fingers through, holds them tight when his back starts to arch, pushing more of himself at Justin without meaning to. 

He stiffens and gasps as the feeling builds, feels it from his spine to his balls and Justin holds him tighter, his hands gripping Alec’s hips to keep him where he wants him, keep him close, keeps sucking and swallowing and drawing him in, all of him.

Alec comes and Justin doesn’t let go, wants it all like it’s the easiest thing in the world. The sounds Justin makes, taking him down, are almost as good as the coming, but only almost. 

He still can’t see, can’t really tell how long he comes, just knows that Justin’s mouth is still on him and his hands are tangled in Justin’s hair. 

He wants to tell Justin to come closer, to come kiss him, to lay here in the dark with him and let him get him off, but he can’t seem to find the words. He tugs Justin’s curls to see if he’ll come closer, if he’ll kiss him. Justin does.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy, which you should listen to right now if you want to cry about the Los Angeles Kings.
> 
> seems fitting to post this now, since Marti has been activated and will be back in the game this week after being out for over a month with post-concussive syndrome. hope he's better than hockey ok. and hope it's something like what the person who requested fic about them wanted!


End file.
